she looked like the before picture.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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