If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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