Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you win again, gameday.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
