so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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