you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
