I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
