So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
