Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
