Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
