he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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