the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
