I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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