I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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