Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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