He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
