They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
