am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
