I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
