They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
