Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Drunk is a universal language darling
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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