why didn't you poke me back
"it" just moved
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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