I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
