I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
