I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
