Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize