white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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