he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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