dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
