we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
