I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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