He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
