either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
