i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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