Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
