Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize