Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
North Korea, Best Korea!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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