Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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