i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
