Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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