U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize