he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
