Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
