Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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