Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We need to rekindle our bromance
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
