he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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