i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
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Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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