So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
