these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
