I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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