Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
