Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
