these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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