pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize