Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
