Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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