dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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