just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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