I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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