I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
